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Tagg007
ought "O"

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7351 posts
Wichita KS

Pilot/mechanic

7:00 AM 10/24/2007

Reply Edit

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

ProcraftMike
Boat by Piece buy Piece

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3640 posts
Neenah WI

Re: Pilot/mechanic (Tagg007) »

8:30 AM 10/24/2007

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Modified '92 Procraft 170 Combo/'97 Johnson 130

Super Ron
Paramedic

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9856 posts
Tabor IA

Re: Pilot/mechanic (ProcraftMike) »

9:27 AM 10/24/2007

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J_DUB
Member

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6710 posts
Jefferson City MO

Re: Pilot/mechanic (Tagg007) »

10:40 AM 10/24/2007

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Live, Laugh, Love, and Fish Like There's no Tomorrow.

Hydrilla Gorilla
Ranger Boats Moderator

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34428 posts
Leavenworth KS

Re: Pilot/mechanic (Tagg007) »

11:16 AM 10/24/2007

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Fitzwater Lures
Mike's Pro Bass Gear
Wired2fish.com

onebadcat

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2719 posts
Eggville MS

Re: Pilot/mechanic (Tagg007) »

11:18 AM 10/24/2007

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That was the funniest thing I have seen in a while.

200 Elite
It's a Grand Thing

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556 posts
Scammon KS

Re: Pilot/mechanic (onebadcat) »

11:23 AM 10/24/2007

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Almost brought me to tears.

Mark from NY

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9145 posts
Canajoharie NY

Re: Pilot/mechanic (200 Elite) »

11:45 AM 10/24/2007

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Rich71691
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428 posts
Channahon Il

Re: Pilot/mechanic (Mark from NY) »

6:21 PM 10/24/2007

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That is great!!!!

Popeye

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2170 posts
Zion, IL. ProTeam 190TX W/90HP Merc

Re: Pilot/mechanic »

7:07 PM 10/24/2007

Reply Edit

So old... but oh, so funny. I must have seen this one like 20 times before and I still read each gripe/repair again. BTW, I think that's how the Navy handles their problems too.

"Andy", EM1 USN, Ret.

Disclaimer:
The poster does not take any responsibility for any bad feelings or sense of exclusion that the reader of this post may have-whether real or imagined. Reading threads poses inherent risks. The poster of this thread would like to also remind readers to make sure they have a functional sense of humor before they visit any discussion board.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Slimm
Slow but Steady!